Reflections on Nék̓em’s Gathering Honouring the National Day for Truth & Reconciliation

September 30 marked National Day for Truth and Reconciliation, and the whole city of Edmonton seemed to be decorated in Orange with the Autumn leaves in full display. The Nék̓em team in Edmonton gathered as they have in the past, cooking soup in the back of Co*LAB. Though a beautiful day, there is a crispness to the air and a heaviness. This is the last event Vee Duncan, the founder of Nék̓em - meaning “to change something” -  planned and it was important to the Nék̓em team and supporters of their work that this event go ahead. 

On the National Day for Truth and Reconciliation, the focus of this healing gathering was to come together and listen to those who bravely share their experiences and what it means to be an Indigenous person today, the impacts of generational trauma and how it continues to impact so many Indigenous folks still. Of the 94 Calls to Action outlined by the Truth and Reconciliation Commission, only 13 have seen action move forward. So much work has yet to be done, and it is hard for both Indigenous folks and the broader community of allies to see that energy has dimmed since the TRC Commission and that it often only resurges yearly during this time. The effects of this day are not just felt one day of the year; it permeates so many peoples’ lives daily and encompasses and symbolizes what they live and have lived most of their lives.

A few members of the team at the John Humphrey Centre for Peace and Human Rights attended the gathering in support and solidarity. Yaw Baayim, a Project Coordinator at JHC, reflected on how this gathering was different from past ones:

“I always enjoy being among the Nék̓em team in their healing circles, but this time was special and emotional. I missed seeing Vee’s introductory comments and how he used to usher us into the blessings of the land... As an immigrant who is still getting to know this land, the ability to learn more about the land I have settled on has been important to me.”

The speakers stood in Circle, recounting stories of the legacies of harm that impacted their families, their loved ones, and has impacted themselves and their lives. Some spoke of being removed and living in the foster system or with other loved ones because their parents and/or grandparents are Residential School Survivors who battled addiction and their trauma, many of them losing their battles or suffering from further discrimination that impacted their health, their family, their lives, their very ability to thrive as humans in this land they call home.

The Nék̓em team was instrumental in guiding and facilitating this event. They’re pretty fun, too!

Canada is home to so many settlers, some who moved here for better opportunity, some driven from their lands escaping war, hardship, even the threat of imprisonment or death. We talk about our “roots”, and cry when we hear about things happening in our “home country”. So we cannot continue to close our eyes or devalue when Indigenous voices cry out to be heard, speaking out about the atrocities that have happened to Indigenous Peoples across Canada. We must seek to understand, learn, listen, and help amplify voices. This is their home, and our home, now, too. We must accept that responsibility to care and nurture for the land, animals, water, and people of this land. 

Those present spoke of how settlers came to this land and were welcomed by Indigenous Peoples across Turtle Island, and their deep connection to this land. Just as settlers from another land may have deep connections to their roots, Indigenous peoples have deep roots as keepers, guardians, and protectors of Turtle Island for thousands of years. Unlike settlers, who have a “homeland” and a heritage, Canada is “home”; Indigenous people “cannot go back where they came from” because this is where they come from. Despite over 150 years of genocide through actions like Residential Schools and colonial policy to make them “less than” and “drive the Indian out of the child”, THEY ARE STILL HERE. “We are finding our way home”.

Speakers talked of the impacts of the ongoing genocide; how their grandparents and parents didn’t know how to express love in a good way, and often were unable to deal with their own trauma and therefore unable to heal from all they endured. This need for love was profound. The need to feel love as children, to receive love, to give love, and to feel valued and seen. Feelings that led to failure to thrive as they grew older, leading them to their own journeys with addiction, mental health challenges, trauma and need for healing. Love. A most basic human need. Speakers described how they have strove to break this intergenerational trauma through healing and that love is central to that. Expressing it, sharing it, telling folks openly that they love them, and teaching their children a better way. Some young ones were present during circle, and while a child laughed and played around us with his long beautiful hair, his mother spoke of how she can only imagine what it must have felt like to lose a child; how children her son’s age were taken to the Residential Schools, had their hair cut off, lost all connection to their family and love, and were neglected, beaten, losing so much - their innocence, their childhood, their culture, their language, their connection to family, their identity.

Jessica, from the John Humphrey Centre, reflected on this gathering personally:

“It made me think of my own beautiful nieces and nephews. Two of them are only 18 months and 3 years old. I thought about how scared they would be, I visualized how they (the children) would cry for their parents, and how their parents likely laid on their beds and held their clothes, their hairbrush, anything to remember them as their hearts broke into thousands of pieces that would never mend. How could those who pulled those children away, through screams, tears, and terror - how could they do so without feeling? How could they believe that it was right in any way, shape or form? How could they go back to their own children and families, feeling righteous? It feels like the absolute opposite of love - it is pure evil and heartlessness”.

Another member of the JHC team, Edward, connected with one of the speakers and recounts the discussions the two of them had, reflecting on the similarities and the struggles Ed’s family have had as Newcomers to Canada, and how impactful it was to hear from speakers:

“When listening to the stories shared with us at the Truth and Reconciliation Day event hosted by Nék̓em, I deeply connected with many aspects of the speakers’ stories. We are all humans and share many similarities in our struggles in life. When I was young, my family immigrated to Canada with almost nothing. My parents worked minimum wage and sometimes less than minimum wage jobs as janitors, prep cooks and butchers to survive. Though my upbringing cannot compare to the tragedies experienced by the residential school children and their families, I understand the struggles of poverty and being treated as less than equal by Canadians. 

One individual who shared his past with us at the Nék̓em event, Kelsey, told me that he was transferred from one home to another in the foster system and no one wanted him, a male, indigenous youth. He found comfort in fiction books and the library and would escape his terrible situations using his imagination and the stories told by the books. When I talked to him during a break in the circle, we found that we had very similar childhoods and read many of the same fiction series in the library. He shared with me that his foster parents would take away his books as punishment; ‘they find what gives you comfort and take it away from you to control you.’  

Kelsey also shared that once he aged out of care at 18, he was left with no transitional help and was left to fend for himself. This lack of transitional support is a critical issue with our current systems and generates homelessness across the country. Kelsey is now doing good with full time work and now helps others in partnership with Nék̓em. I believe Kelsey is an inspiration and a success story in spite of a system that has failed him. I hope that his story can inspire others to succeed and also be a lesson for the government to improve the foster care system and prevent others who aren’t as fortunate from falling through the cracks.” 

There was sadness, heaviness, but also healing, joy, and love. Always love. It was profound and so present. The smiles and laughter that came through the doors into the backyard at CO*LAB as people shared smokes, watched over the soup that garnered some laughter and jokes as it was very accidentally spiced a bit too much!, the hugs shared, and the healing that came from speaking truths and being listened to with open ears, hearts and minds. Such is the power that can be given when we seek to learn and listen in a good way, and pledge to never let history repeat itself. But there is still a long, long way to go. At the rate Canada is going, it is estimated that all 94 Calls to Action will not be fulfilled until 2065. We have to do better, as peoples who call this place home, as allies, and as a nation.

“Healing circles from Indigenous friends and [what] truth and reconciliation meant to them, the residential school issues among others were shared. That space has always been emotional, [it can be] heavy to hear all the heavy stories and experiences of racism, discrimination and other forms of human rights violations and the results that these issues are having... Let us continue to heal, share, and remember to love one another because at the end of the day, we all have the same red blood within us.” - Yaw Baayim, Project Coordinator with Stride Advocacy at JHC

One person mentioned they don’t like to call themselves an intergenerational trauma survivor. Instead, they described themselves as a survivor focused on intergenerational healing and love. If only we could come together as a nation, focused on loving each other and the lands, waters, animals, and people that surround us, we can rebuild and begin to repair the relationships we have so that we might right the relationship we have with Turtle Island and each other. That is a future that is possible, but it will take time, effort, learning, healing, growth and a lot of action and work from us all. Imagine what kind of future it could be. What a beautiful future - one created from love. What a beautiful place Turtle Island could be. A place we would be proud to call Home.



To support the work of Nék̓em, consider donating: Go Fund Me Fundraiser: Nék̓em: To Change Something

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Some additional stories and readings to share:



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