Reflection on Nék̓em Healing Storytelling Circle

In late August 2023, folks with lived experience in the child welfare system led a storytelling and circle discussion in Edmonton, holding open space for recognition, solidarity, and healing.

In the back of CO*LAB, Vee Duncan of Nék̓em stands watch over a large pot of simmering duck stew, the mouth-watering smell wafting into the gathering space beyond. As guests begin to arrive, the speakers who have come to share their story gather to smudge and ground themselves, finding courage to be vulnerable with those who have come to sit within the circle. Despite the rain pouring outside, 40 people have come to sit in the space to hear stories that are not just words on paper, but immensely painful life experiences and memories carried to this day. Vee has brought folks together who have experience of growing up within the child welfare system, and the legacy of harm, pain, and trauma that has come of it.

The percentage of Indigenous children in the system continues to increase over time, with over 75% of children in this system today being Indigenous children and youth. Why is that number so high? Those who spoke in the circle stated that the system has marked Indigenous folks, and, once marked, will follow you for your entire life much like a rap sheet follows an ex-convict. It perpetuates across generations, never letting go, and puts not just oneself, but one’s children, grandchildren, nephews, nieces, and other loved ones at risk, constantly. The system is broken, some say. Others say it is a continuation of the residential school system. One profound statement that came forth from the circle was that the system is not broken at all — it is functioning just as it was intended: to continue the cultural genocide that Indigenous folks across Turtle Island have faced ever since colonizers first came to these lands. It is a sickening thought that even today something that was meant to keep children from harm has had such a traumatizing legacy and has resulted in Indigenous folks having the highest rates of poverty, mental illness, addictions, and homelessness in Canada.

The legacy of the child welfare system is genocide and loss — a loss of family and loved ones, of home, of identity, of traditional culture, languages, and teachings. In many cases, it resulted in physical, emotional and sexual abuse much worse than many could fathom. Many aged out with immense trauma and no connection to family or supports, left to fend for themselves. Some spoke of finding pathways of healing, but even this journey has been difficult. Many shared that they feel they belong in neither the “white” world, nor within the Indigenous community, and many are left to continually struggle throughout their lives trying to heal and live with the painful experiences they endured.

This is why Vee is so passionate about the work he does with Nékem — because he has lived it and understands how dark that road can feel and how alone and hopeless one can be. The soup and bannock that attendees enjoyed is the same that will make its way out on wagons that will be pulled that evening to serve houseless community members on the streets. The food is delicious, often locally sourced and made with care, with the hopes that those who eat it will be nourished and feel that someone cares for them, understands them, bringing a little hope to the darkness amidst the dreary rain.

Yaw’s reflections on the Nékem gathering:

It is always a pleasure to join a team of open minded people who are ready to share their ideas, experiences(whether good or bad) and also ready to be vulnerable regardless of the outcome. That is exactly how I feel whenever I am in a Nékem circle. Too much emotions and vulnerability. Nékem’s circle is always a therapeutic session to learn more about Indigenous folks and how our daily activities affect them, being good or bad. As someone who is the middleman between community members and JHC, learning about the people I support and represent is always ideal and the Indigenous community is an exception. I learnt about how Canada is a land stolen by settlers and now occupied by immigrants, and I am one of them. I also learnt about how the land acknowledgement has been a recital and loses the main purpose of the acknowledgement. Do we mean every bit of the words we say when acknowledging this land? Posterity will judge us all. It is always a pleasure to learn, listen, be vulnerable, and share with the circle when needed. 

Addendum:

In September 2023, our dear friend and Nék̓em’s founder, Vee Duncan, left us to join the spirit world. Vee’s steadfast empathy and earnest care for those struggling with addiction and other barriers ensured that Nék̓em’s work has always been grounded in relationship building, dignity, and cultural respect. Having helped build a resilient community where people belong, find purpose, and support one another, Vee’s vision persists on with Nék̓em. We with the John Humphrey Centre for Peace and Human Rights deeply mourn the loss of Vee in our circle, but we celebrate his legacy alongside the dedicated folks of Nék̓em.